by Ashley Wiggers
o you ever feel the weight of being overwhelmed? I do. When things begin to stack up and I can’t see through them, it feels paralyzing. I have a hard time getting anything done.
Whether you’re fighting this feeling because of the holiday craze, a family challenge, emotional stress, or physical difficulties, it can give you a sense of being stuck in place. I don’t think I’m alone in this fight, so I wanted to share some thoughts that will help us push back.
Grace, not to embrace a negative, but to accept where we are—knowing God has a plan for our rescue. “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus.”—Romans 8:1, KJV. That means there’s no condemnation in the valleys we walk through. Remember, God is not the one telling you to be constantly unhappy with yourself. There is one, though, who prowls around looking for opportunities, and he’s known as the “accuser of the brethren” (Revelation 12:10).
When we get upset with ourselves for not being stronger, we’re actually compounding the work of the enemy against us. His goal is always to make you feel bad about yourself. You’re weak. You’re not doing enough. You should be stronger. There’s something wrong with you. Others are doing it better, why can’t you? Reject the words given to you by the father of lies. “When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.”—John 8:44, NKJV.
Look Up in the Eye of the Storm
I don’t quite remember the circumstances when my mom shared the following words of wisdom. It was well before I actually encountered any adult-sized problems. But apparently, I was under some level of stress and my mom looked at me with compassion, offering words of life that she felt the Lord was speaking to her on my behalf.
She saw a picture of me with a storm swirling all around. In the center was a place of complete calm. Also known as the eye of the storm as us Floridians can testify. Mom reminded me of the time she was a little girl and a hurricane crossed over her home in South Florida. She and her mom ventured outside during the moment when the eye was passing over. She said it was amazing. The violent winds died down completely and everything became still for a time. She felt the Lord wanted me to know that it would be like this in life—no matter the swirling storm, I could count on there being a place of peace in the center with Him.
It’s not that the storm is gone, but we’re calm even in the midst of it because we know of whom we have believed (2 Timothy 1:12). Our heavenly Father does not want us to live under the pain of frustration, confusion, or hopelessness. His desire is that we would live in the place of hope and trust He has set aside for us—the place that enables us to fight off the negative emotions we encounter.
To find the eye of the storm, we first must realize we have a standing invitation with full access. It isn’t reserved for us when our behavior meets some standard. It exists for us now at any time and in any condition. It is simply our place of abiding in His heart for us. We enter through simple awe. Our awe of His goodness toward us. When we worship Him and recount His kindnesses, as many as we can, this opens the door to the eye.
“You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.”
—Isaiah 26:3 NKJV
What are some of the ways we can help lift each other up?
1. Encourage
It’s extremely important for my husband and I to remind each other of the truth—without either of us feeling judged for needing the reminder. There are days when he needs it. There are days when I do. We remind each other that what we’re doing, raising these kids together, is so valuable. The seemingly insignificant daily routines are worth much more than we know. We remind each other that even though it can be hard on days, we’re in this together and whatever challenge we’re currently facing, won’t last forever.
2. Pray
Something really powerful occurs when husbands and wives take the time to sit and pray over each other. We band together as a united front against the onslaught of whatever unseen force is attempting to get between us or disrupt our family. When one of us is feeling weak, the other can “hold the line” and pray for strength. Sometimes it takes us both praying together. Sometimes as the head of our family, nothing is as powerful as when my husband takes a stand spiritually and prays over me and our family.
3. Take Your Thoughts Captive
In times of weakness, we need to be more purposeful about taking our thoughts captive—locking up the ones that aren’t helpful or hopeful. Our brain needs training. We have to teach it how to think. The thoughts we think most become easy pathways for our brain to go down. That’s why there’s a great need to lock up unhelpful thoughts and implant thoughts of hope. Scripture is a great tool to get us started. If we’re having trouble taming our thoughts, repeating a scripture will wash away the grime and refresh our brains. Some of my favorite scriptures to chew on include:
you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not
of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
—Jeremiah 29:11, NKJV
Father will send in my name, will teach you
all things and will remind you of everything
I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my
peace I give you. I do not give to you as the
world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled
and do not be afraid.”
“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I
will help you, I will uphold you with My
righteous right hand.”
Alex and I use the phrase “reset” a lot. Because either we, or our kids, need to find a way to reset ourselves throughout the day. For the kids, it might be through a form of discipline, or just the realization that we need to make a change. We ask them, “would you like to try again?”
For me and Alex, it’s usually that we feel the need to realign ourselves. The “how” of realignment can happen in many different ways, but it’s almost always through connection with the Lord that this reset takes place. It can be as simple as fifteen minutes away listening to something that feeds our souls. The methods may vary, but the point is to do whatever it takes to make our way back to center—back to the eye of the storm.
5. Be a Team
Your family unit is a team. Make sure your kiddos know that too! I tell my little guys all the time that we are a team. We’re all in charge of keeping each other going and taking care of our home together. Since I have a soon-to-be six-year-old boy and soon-to-be three-year-old boy, (plus the baby, but she’s just responsible for being cute at this point) there’s not a whole lot they can do to help. But they have their chores and do what they can. It’s not about the amount of help they’re able to provide at this time. Instead it’s about building into them the idea that they have an important part to play on our team and we all help each other!
This time of year is such a special one. If we want to be able to enjoy the simple moments together, we have to fight off the feeling of being overwhelmed in order to be fully present where we are. Count your blessings this holiday season and give yourself grace! You’ve got this.
shley Wiggers grew up in the early days of the homeschooling movement. She was taught by her late mother, Debbie Strayer, who was an educator, speaker, and the author of numerous homeschooling materials. It was through Debbie’s encouragement and love that Ashley learned the value of being homeschooled. Currently, Ashley is the co-executive editor of Homeschooling Today magazine, public relations director for Geography Matters, and the author of the Profiles from History series. Ashley makes her home in Lutz, FL, with her supportive father, Greg, her loving husband, Alex, and their precious children, Lincoln, Jackson and Ruby.
