t’s a typical Monday morning around here. All of us are feeling a little slow to embrace the work week. While my oldest and I are trying to get through his lessons together, the younger two are usually found listening to a story, playing pretend, or climbing a tree. But on this particular Monday, they have run out of ideas. After making a fairly big mess attempting to build a fort downstairs, they became deflated and lacked the motivation to continue. With a distraught expression, Jack tells me, “I can’t do any of my ideas. None of them are working out.” “I know that’s how it feels right now, Jack. Maybe we can find another way to build the fort so the blankets don’t fall down?” I began looking for clips. His sister pipes up, “Mom, can I paint a rock?” I respond as I look for the clips, “We got the painting supplies out yesterday, Ruby, but we’re not going to get them out right now.” Cue whining. And no clips can be found. Jack is of the mindset that nothing, not one thing, could possibly turn his day around now. And all Ruby can focus on is that her dreams of painting a rock have been dashed…

Often, our kids are not in need of correction as much as they’re in need of encouragement. They’re dealing with a lot of feelings and learning how to handle them. And while those needs can sometimes seem really inconvenient and frustrating to us, they are very real to them. I try to remember that, because I’m really in the same boat, just a little further down the river. My issues are bigger, yes, but in a sense, I’m fighting the same battles they are. Learning how to overcome disappointment, trying to restart when plans fail, letting go of frustration, working to keep kindness and patience at the center, and in the midst of it all, not losing heart. This is their practice ground for when the stakes start getting higher.

Every time we resist the pull of overwhelm, we strengthen the muscle that helps us overcome it. So I try to help, but sometimes my children don’t want to hear my suggestions. I know, shocker! I’m sure yours never do that. 😆 As parents, we’re just trying to come up with a few solutions to keep everyone on track so we can all make it through the day in a productive and hopefully positive way.

I’m okay with my kids needing a little time to work through the struggle and process their way into better attitudes. I get it. I really GET IT. But, I’m not okay when they turn into inconsolable whining puddles of never-ending complaints. So, after many attempts to reconcile the situation (with some really great suggestions from my end, I might add), I sent Jack and Ruby to their room for a timeout so they could reset. While there, they managed to turn the timeout into an extended play session after finding some inspiration during the imposed shift in their focus.

This isn’t always how things go. Sometimes they’re willing to accept one of my suggestions before a timeout becomes necessary. And other times, they come back down in the same funk they went up in, and we have to figure out a new path forward. Each day is different, and our willingness to shift and be flexible is of the utmost importance. This can be difficult for those of us who have a plan, though, am I right? I had a plan!!! Yes, many a homeschool parent has said this in their mind with more than just three exclamation points.

Here we are again next week. Another Monday. Same song, different verse. The two youngest have erupted into yet another commotion because one of them spent time cleaning the mud out of a plastic container and carefully gathered “salad” ingredients (as they are playing pretend kitchen outside) while the other grabbed said container to use it and poured out the ingredients without thinking. All this while my oldest builds with LEGO bricks, and I try to finish my articles for this issue of the magazine before starting school, so my husband can finish the layout and send the magazine to the printer on time(ish).

We grow when we don’t give up. When we try again. When we realize we should have been more patient and apologize. When we recognize that something is no longer working in our schedule, we have the wisdom to make a change…whether it is a popular choice or not. We grow when we realize how much we need to rely on the Lord to carry us through our days.

Sometimes I’m the one who needs a hug from them. Sometimes I just need a moment. Or more coffee. Putting on the brakes helps me remember that even though something might feel intense right now, it’s really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.

We all need encouragement. You do, I do, our kids do, and so do our husbands. All of us. These moments may look like a high five in the middle of a math lesson when they finally get it. Or it might be an unexpected ice cream trip after a day when things were hard, but you all rallied together and made it through.

Think of some areas where you have grown in the past school year. What about your kids? Your spouse? Write them down so you can see your progress. Have a night of celebration where you point out all the areas where you and your family have grown. Or, at least bring these “wins” up at the next family meal so everyone can be encouraged—and you will have begun a culture of celebrating progress in your home.

shley Wiggers grew up in the early days of the homeschooling movement. She was taught by her late mother, Debbie Strayer, who was an educator, speaker, and the author of numerous homeschooling materials. It was through Debbie’s encouragement and love that Ashley learned the value of being homeschooled. Currently, Ashley and her husband Alex are the publishers of Homeschooling Today magazine. Ashley is the Co-Executive Editor and a contributing columnist as well as one of the hosts of their podcast, Homeschool Boldly. Husband and wife team, Alex and Ashley are busy raising and homeschooling their three children while running the family business together.