You’ve heard people say things like get to the heart of the matter and speak from the heart. Sometimes we have a change of heart, a heart of gold, or a heart of stone. We pour out our hearts and cross our hearts and break other people’s hearts.

For our purposes, think of the heart as the seat of one’s inner being—encompassing the thoughts, emotions, and will. It’s the source of a person’s character, beliefs, and motivations.

Taking care of the hearts of your children is incredibly important, and Connie Albers beautifully addresses how to do just that. But it’s also important to take care of your own heart. As a Christian mom, you’ve probably been encouraged to do this by having a quiet time to study Scripture and pray. These practices are both good and needful disciplines of our faith, but it’s easy to start thinking of quiet time as another box to check off your never ending to-do list.

Did you know that “heart care” for both you and your children can actually happen in the midst of homeschooling? Natural learning encompasses a couple of core principles that really speak to the heart of both moms (or dads) and their children: healthy relationships and an integrated approach to learning. And surprisingly, these two work together perfectly!

Your relationship with your children is a key component of the homeschooling experience. All the best teaching methods in the world will lack when they are done in an environment of strained or dysfunctional relationships. On the other hand, healthy relationships actually support learning because kids feel safe to try and fail, to explore and experiment. And you will be more excited about homeschooling, too, when it doesn’t feel like a constant battle of wills.

If your family is really struggling right now, here’s your permission to take some time and focus on getting healthier. Spend time together talking and listening to one another. Get away on a vacation if possible or schedule some time to simply have fun together. And if the problems feel too big, consider talking to a pastor, wise older couple, or a Christian counselor. Help is available!

But realize, all families have to intentionally cultivate healthy relationships. They don’t just happen. And it’s not about having a “perfect” family (not possible) or never arguing or everyone skipping around the house with big smiles on their faces all the time.

The good news is that subjects don’t fit into neat categories and neither does life. We don’t have to see matters of the heart as a separate area. In all we do, we can be mindful that several factors are forming both us and our children spiritually, relationally, and academically. Let’s lean into the beauty of integrated living and loving and learning together.

So if you want to build healthy relationships while “doing school,” here are some simple suggestions that reap some amazing rewards for both you and your kids.

Have Bible time, but keep it simple. Yes, you may find that your own quiet time is life giving to you, and if so, go for it! But it’s also okay to do it with your kids. A friend of mine made it a priority to simply read through the Bible with her children—no fancy curriculum. Just reading and natural conversations about what they read.

If you have little ones or kids that need to be doing something to really listen, they can color or draw a picture to go with the passage. Even playing with some playdough can help many distractible kids.

With a mix of ages, consider reading a passage from a children’s Bible and then the actual passage from a simple, readable translation like the New International Reader’s Version, New Living Translation, or Christian Standard Bible.

Spend some time in prayer together. Does your family support a specific organization or missionary? Pray for that! Share needs with one another and talk about the good things you want to thank and praise him for. You can pray and your kids can pray out loud. There’s nothing more beautiful than a child’s prayer.

Incorporate aspects of faith throughout the day. To truly help in the formation of hearts though, your faith needs to be incorporated into your everyday life—not just as a specific subject in school. Teachable moments for both you and your children show up throughout the homeschool day. We can be pretty good at recognizing those moments for our children, but how often do we stop to reflect about our own opportunities for growth?

Feeling overwhelmed by the chaos? Angry because of something your child did? Hurt because you don’t feel supported? Now is your chance to stop and pray. Now is your chance to take a deep breath and take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Now is your chance to model your faith to your children.

Change how you think about education. When you homeschool, it isn’t just about what you teach, but how you teach. Changing your mindset about teaching can be incredibly beneficial. Instead of being an expert dispensing knowledge, you can be a fellow learner walking alongside your children. This simple shift can be incredibly impactful for both you and your children.

As a fellow learner, you’ll experience more sympathy for what your kids are feeling when they don’t understand something, you’ll discover how powerful it is to learn about something you are curious or passionate about, and you’ll be able to use this knowledge to be a better support for your own children’s learning.

Make conversation your go-to teaching method. Reading a book aloud together? Be sure to talk about it! You can ask discussion type questions from a prepared resource or simply let it happen naturally.

Going on a nature walk? Point out the things you are noticing and tell your kids how it makes you feel or what curiosity it stirs in you, then ask them to do the same.

Learning about a time in history? Talk about what it might have been like to live during that time. How would your family live differently? What would you like and dislike about it?

Try a unit study. Unit studies are a great way to incorporate all of these suggestions and more! With unit studies, various subjects are brought together around a specific theme. A unit study can be done for a day, week, month, or more. They provide an organized way for kids to learn about the things that spark their interests, and learning can go as deep as they want. The whole family can even do them together! And the best part is that you can learn right alongside them.

ay Chance homeschooled her children for fifteen years. While teaching them, she discovered a passion for writing and developing curriculum resources. She loves sharing natural learning methods and creative lesson ideas with other homeschooling parents. Kay is the co-executive editor of Homeschooling Today magazine and the author of the older extensions for the Trail Guide to Learning series. She makes her home in Texas with her husband Brian.