fter our first few years of homeschooling, I wrote a “to-be-opened-upon-my-death” letter to my boys. Macabre, I know. But I had finally found my calling: homeschool mom extraordinaire! Therefore, in case I didn’t live long enough to see this homeschooling venture through to the end, I decided I better leave a list of values and skills I hoped each of my boys would gain. And a list of instructions to be carried out in my absence. It had taken me thirty-four years to find my purpose, and I wasn’t going to let a little thing like death keep me from fulfilling it.

While I was writing this silly letter, getting everyone through math with their egos and my sanity intact was a big daily struggle! I knew it was common lore that homeschoolers only did math while shopping at Aldi. Or when counting to ensure all their siblings made it back into the family bus.

Math was an essential campaign in my war against my critics’ low expectations. I wasn’t certain my husband was prepared to fill my combat post at these uncharted frontlines.

In truth, I wasn’t certain how long my own rust-covered math skills would hold out or what we would do when my abilities ground to a halt, and we’d need to call in reinforcements. But I knew I’d find a way…

With grand expectations and rigid command, I was going to get this math thing right for each of my boys to reach their goals.

After all, homeschooling is about personalizing an education for each kid individually, right? My three boys were three vastly different types of homeschoolers, and trying to keep up was hair-pulling exhausting.

1. My oldest twin (by one minute) showed me how amazing I was at this homeschool mom gig. As a mostly grown adult, he still absolutely loves to learn. His biggest struggle was learning that there is, in fact, a middle ground between perfection and failure.
2. His twin was always a “git-r-done” kind of guy. A little grumbly about lessons he deemed useless, but he would get stuff done, good enough, simply to get away from me and focus on his more favored endeavors.
3. Oh, but that third and youngest child of mine… sigh. He made me put up or shut up. A sweet and fun-loving jokester who loves being outdoors or working with his hands. He was always ready to go, do, build, create, troubleshoot, and repair. Need your garage organized or the garden tilled? He’s your guy.

   But every day for over 10 years, he awoke in horror and outrage that we were still homeschooling each day, and he’d have to wield a pencil! His motto: “Why do in 15 mins what you can complain about for hours!?” I thought I’d never get him through fifth grade, much less fractions!

Between the three of them, I was frequently overwhelmed and humbled to learn that prayer is the best parent-teacher conference a homeschool mom can count on. Because I needed more help loosening my grip than they needed the warm-up problems. I didn’t need my kids and husband to trust my plan; I needed to trust God’s plan.

Spoiler Alert:

That ridiculous letter is no longer relevant. Thank God, no one had to bury me in the backyard. My math skills eventually ran out. The control I thought I wielded only gave me reflux, wrinkles, and a curriculum hoarding condition they haven’t named yet.

One day at a time, we plowed on with homeschooling, and God humbled my need for control with obstacles and attitudes. And yet, all three are in college; one graduating as a professional pilot soon, two are engineers in training, and one is even a student teacher in math and physics.

Did this happen because I stuck around pushing them through those daily warm-up problems? No way. I still have to sing the quadratic equation to the tune of Pop Goes the Weasel.

It happened because God had a plan. A plan that led to things I never could have imagined while dozing in the carpool line of public school before He shoved me into my true purpose, and it wasn’t math teacher extraordinaire.

Am I pushing the importance of homeschooling math with this story? Maybe. That depends on your kids’ interests and goals and the doors you want to keep open.

What I want you to see is that I once worried I would fail without complete control and homeschool perfection. I’m glad I couldn’t maintain it. Because humble imperfection builds character and keeps us salty. Plus, I would have missed the bigger lesson God had for me: control vs. trust.

From my present view, it’s hard to remember what I was so worried about back then. Because the most difficult phase of homeschooling is whatever you are struggling with… right now. Like the worries over if-and-when your kid will learn to read. Or the worry that other moms might find out your morning basket time is more like a morning brawl. There is nothing but the present. And it too will pass. And then there’s algebra (snort laugh).

Hifalutin Hint: When difficult challenges arise, and your instinct is to overthink and tighten control, look back at what worries you’ve already moved past and forgotten. Breathe, smile, and laugh at yourself for not even noticing the peace you were given.

Those bygone worries are the warm-up problems God gave you to learn to trust in
Him as He provided the means and the path for His plan.

ennifer Cabrera is a physician assistant/MPH who left medicine to homeschool her three sons, two of which are graduated and studying electrical engineering and professional aviation at university. Jennifer is the writer, speaker, author and homeschool advocate behind HifalutinHomeschooler.com and strives to offer truth, encouragement, and humor to new and seasoned homeschool parents. Jennifer co-hosts The Homeschool Solutions Show podcast, is a speaker with Great Homeschool Conventions, and has written for the Epoch Times. Her publications include the humorous language arts series: Gross-Out Grammar & Revolting Writing and Socialize Like a Homeschooler; A Humorous Homeschool Handbook.