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Faith Filled Family typography

with Steve Demme

Be Imitators of God
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e’re continuing our series on loving our family as Jesus has loved us. This principle is called the “New Commandment.” Jesus taught it to His disciples the night before He was crucified.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”

— John 13:34, NASB
“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.”

— John 15:12, NASB
To love each other as Jesus has loved us begins with an intentional look at Jesus and how He laid down His life for His children. Paul teaches the same concept with different words:
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us.”

— Ephesians 5:1–2a ESV
Jesus laid down His life for us. We, as His beloved children, are to imitate Him and lay our lives down for our spouses and children. As I reread this passage, I noticed the previous verse, at the end of the fourth chapter:
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

— Ephesians 4:32, ESV
Once again, Paul encourages us to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving. Not only because these are wonderful characteristics for believers, but because this is how God in Christ forgave us.

These verses at the end of Ephesians 4 and the beginning of chapter 5 are laying the foundation for the rest of Ephesians 5:21–6:4 (ESV). From “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” to “bring[ing children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord,” these verses are the richest and clearest set of instructions for the Christian home.

The best part of loving each other as Jesus has loved us, and being imitators of God in Christ, is that our attention is fixed on our Savior. I have found the more I meditate on the nature and character of Jesus, the more I appreciate and love Him.

person leaning against tree and holding a book
To imitate requires us to study whoever we are imitating intently. A few of my children are incredible imitators. Apparently my second son does an accurate imitation of me. When our boys were all living under our roof, we celebrated birthdays with a special meal, a cake or pie of their choosing, and a slide show of their life. My wife did a wonderful job of taking pictures of our growing family from the time they were born.

On the evening of the birthday party, we would gather in the dark living room, and watch a slideshow, which Sandi had created by pulling photos of the birthday boy from the stack of trays full of family slides. On one occasion, I was on the road. As the pictures flashed on the screen, my second son gave a running commentary, apparently just as I had done many times before. The family heartily enjoyed the imitation more than the slides.

This particular son is a keen observer. He does not miss much. So is his blessed wife. If the mood strikes them, they can do incredible imitations and impersonations. In the same way, I hope to be a keen observer of my Heavenly Dad and my Savior. For only then will I be equipped to “be imitators of God, as beloved children.” (Ephesians 5:1, NASB)

One very attractive attribute of Jesus to me is His humble, meek, gentle, heart. During a difficult, yet profitable season in the life of our family, I began to learn that I had not always been meek and gentle of heart. I had misused my authority as the head of our home and lorded it over my family, rather than using this God given authority to humbly serve and build them up. I also learned that I could wound my family with a word or even the tone of my voice. Or I could encourage them with loving words and gentle tones.

I desperately want to be like Jesus who said:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke on you and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

— Matthew 11:28–29, NET
Jesus was, and is, safe. He is ever gentle and humble. He is an approachable and meek Savior who provides rest and refreshment when we come close to Him. That is how I want to be as a husband, father, and grandfather. I want to be safe. I want to refresh, not agitate those who come to me. I want to be a kind builder-upper.

Our family has been enriched with grandchildren who have come to us through the foster care system. I love them to pieces. I have also begun to learn how much trauma these children have experienced from broken homes. I want to be a safe, kind, and loving “Papa.” I want them to have a taste of Jesus, who provides rest, not drama or angst.

“Then while observing His nature and character, we are empowered to imitate His gentle and kind heart.”
Since 2014, God and I have become much closer. I love drawing near to Him and waiting on Him. Until this blessed season of my life, I had known of Him from afar, but now have begun to “taste and see” that He is good and kind. I had believed in His lovingkindness, but in seeking and finding Him, I have experienced His gentleness and kindness.

Psalm 145 is a gem that has several passages which reveal these attributes of Our Dad. YHWH is faithful in all His words and kind in all His works. YHWH upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down. YHWH is righteous in all His ways.

If I had a do-over as the husband and father in our young family, I would not push myself beyond my natural strength—even while engaging in good things like serving in our local church and working to provide for our family bread. I would take more time to be like Mary instead of Martha. Everyone benefits when we sit at the feet of Jesus and gaze at Him while being in His presence. Then while observing His nature and character, we are empowered to imitate His gentle and kind heart.

We know that there will soon be a day when we shall see Him. Really lay our eyes on Jesus. The result will be beyond our imagination:

“Dear friends, we are already God’s children, but He has not yet shown us what we will be like when Christ appears. But we do know that we will be like Him, for we will see Him as He really is.”

— 1 John 3:2, NLT
May God help us to fix our attention on Him, imitate Him, and love one another as He has loved us. Amen!
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teve Demme and his wife Sandra have been married since 1979. They have been blessed with four sons, three lovely daughters-in-law, and six special grandchildren. Their fourth son has Down syndrome and lives with them in Lititz, PA. Steve has served in full or part-time pastoral ministry for many years after graduating from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. He is the creator of Math-U-See and the founder of Building Faith Families.