with Steve Demme
e’re continuing our series on loving our family as Jesus has loved us. This principle is called the “New Commandment.” Jesus taught it to His disciples the night before He was crucified.
These verses at the end of Ephesians 4 and the beginning of chapter 5 are laying the foundation for the rest of Ephesians 5:21–6:4 (ESV). From “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” to “bring[ing children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord,” these verses are the richest and clearest set of instructions for the Christian home.
The best part of loving each other as Jesus has loved us, and being imitators of God in Christ, is that our attention is fixed on our Savior. I have found the more I meditate on the nature and character of Jesus, the more I appreciate and love Him.
On the evening of the birthday party, we would gather in the dark living room, and watch a slideshow, which Sandi had created by pulling photos of the birthday boy from the stack of trays full of family slides. On one occasion, I was on the road. As the pictures flashed on the screen, my second son gave a running commentary, apparently just as I had done many times before. The family heartily enjoyed the imitation more than the slides.
This particular son is a keen observer. He does not miss much. So is his blessed wife. If the mood strikes them, they can do incredible imitations and impersonations. In the same way, I hope to be a keen observer of my Heavenly Dad and my Savior. For only then will I be equipped to “be imitators of God, as beloved children.” (Ephesians 5:1, NASB)
One very attractive attribute of Jesus to me is His humble, meek, gentle, heart. During a difficult, yet profitable season in the life of our family, I began to learn that I had not always been meek and gentle of heart. I had misused my authority as the head of our home and lorded it over my family, rather than using this God given authority to humbly serve and build them up. I also learned that I could wound my family with a word or even the tone of my voice. Or I could encourage them with loving words and gentle tones.
I desperately want to be like Jesus who said:
Our family has been enriched with grandchildren who have come to us through the foster care system. I love them to pieces. I have also begun to learn how much trauma these children have experienced from broken homes. I want to be a safe, kind, and loving “Papa.” I want them to have a taste of Jesus, who provides rest, not drama or angst.
Psalm 145 is a gem that has several passages which reveal these attributes of Our Dad. YHWH is faithful in all His words and kind in all His works. YHWH upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down. YHWH is righteous in all His ways.
If I had a do-over as the husband and father in our young family, I would not push myself beyond my natural strength—even while engaging in good things like serving in our local church and working to provide for our family bread. I would take more time to be like Mary instead of Martha. Everyone benefits when we sit at the feet of Jesus and gaze at Him while being in His presence. Then while observing His nature and character, we are empowered to imitate His gentle and kind heart.
We know that there will soon be a day when we shall see Him. Really lay our eyes on Jesus. The result will be beyond our imagination:
teve Demme and his wife Sandra have been married since 1979. They have been blessed with four sons, three lovely daughters-in-law, and six special grandchildren. Their fourth son has Down syndrome and lives with them in Lititz, PA. Steve has served in full or part-time pastoral ministry for many years after graduating from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. He is the creator of Math-U-See and the founder of Building Faith Families.