

We long for our homes to run smoothly. Homes where our children brush their teeth and pick up their clothes without us saying a word. They promptly answer, “Yes, ma’am” or “Yes, sir” when asked to do something without talking back or questioning why.
Homeschooling and parenting is exhausting and frustrating when kids don’t listen. This constant battle slows down productivity in our homes and homeschools, raises stress levels, and even hurts our relationship with our children.
Thankfully, there is a way to turn this situation around and secure for yourself smooth days ahead! How? Through daily, intentional habit training.
Charlotte Mason, a nineteenth century British educator, believed a third of our education is based on habits.
Consistency is the key to success in the formation of good habits. About half of what we do daily comes from habits we developed over time.
Miss Mason advised parents to focus on only one habit at a time for a period of six to eight weeks. She compared habit training to laying down the rails that would lead children towards given ends.
– Charlotte Mason, A Philosophy of Education

While Miss Mason recommended starting habit training by teaching first the habit of obedience, I find it better to start with the habit of attention. After all, if children do not know how to pay attention, how will they carry out an instruction?
Next, focus on the habits of obedience and truthfulness. Finally, work on any other habits your children need more help with. Whatever habit will benefit them the most should be your top priority. Many families might decide to first focus on manners or self-control after the habits of attention and obedience.
After the initial six to eight weeks, carefully evaluate if your children are ready to move on to the next habit. If necessary, let them continue to focus on the current habit a little longer. I also highly recommend looping—going back to something again—with some important habits every year or two as seems necessary. For many years, we revisited important habits such as attention and obedience as we saw a need for them.
Now, I have two teenagers and one pre-teen who are wonderfully obedient and independent learners. However, the habits of order, modesty, and managing one’s own body (yes, that’s a habit, too) still require extra training. This year, we have been working on religious habits. I now enjoy seeing my children spend daily quiet time with the Lord. They read their Bibles daily, listen to worship music, and pray on their own.
It is a blessing to see the fruit of our “pain to endow our children in good habits.” No matter how long it takes, the end results will not disappoint you.
There are many wonderful habit and character training resources for homeschoolers. My favorite is the Laying Down The Rails series by Simply Charlotte Mason. I’ve been using this habit training curriculum with my children for many years.
Laying Down The Rails For Children provides open-and-go lessons for homeschoolers based on Charlotte Mason’s philosophy of education.
This curriculum covers twenty-six habits divided into five different categories: mental, moral, physical, religious, and decency and property habits. That means your children will focus on a variety of habits like attention, self-control, good health, prayer, and manners.
It is amazing how these simple and short lessons help children to understand the natural consequences of their actions. I recommend doing a Laying Down the Rails lesson twice a week. The lessons are short, taking only ten to fifteen minutes, to keep children’s attention. Each lesson produces wonderful discussions and keeps children motivated to establish new habits.
As parents, our daily consistency in habit training is key. Our constant encouragement and hopeful expectations are great motivators for children to practice the new habit.
Habit training produces an orderly home, more productive homeschool time, and better relationships between children and parents. It also produces a peaceful and respectful atmosphere. Most importantly, habit training produces good character and discipline for children to succeed in every area of life.
The daily habits parents faithfully work on producing in their children today will never be in vain. It will bring forth adults who are honest, punctual, responsible, and kind—among many other excellent qualities.

I will never forget how convicted I felt on our very first habit training lesson. The definition of attention read: “turning the whole force of the mind to the subject in hand.” As I read those words to my three, five, and seven-year-olds, my heart sank. I felt sick with guilt and shame as tears began to roll down my cheeks.
As a mother, I didn’t know how to fully pay attention to my children without an undivided heart.
For many years, I had bought into the busyness trap and lived in constant multitasking mode. I was able to do many things at the same time, but none with excellence. Daily I juggled housework, homeschooling, full-time ministry, and my online business—my attention split in many directions. This only led me to severe burnout.
That lesson changed my life. I knew I needed good habits more than my little ones at that point. As my children began to learn and practice good habits, so did I.
There are five books about habits I highly recommend to moms:
Laying Down the Rails for Yourself
Atomic Habits
Better Than Before
The Common Rule: Habits of Purpose for an Age of Distraction
Habits of a Household
Give habit training a chance! It will bring more order and peace to your home and smooth days ahead for you and your children. Good habits have lifelong benefits in both our lives and our children’s.
