Mom to Mom

with

Jane Lambert & Carrie Bozeman

Building Blocks of Boldness

Carrie Writes:

wouldn’t call my mom particularly adventurous or fearless in general, and she is not a loud, boisterous person. She enjoys routine and her home. She is quiet and steady. These are, by the way, wonderful qualities for a mother to possess! For those of you familiar with Lord of the Rings… she’s a bit of a hobbit.

In The Hobbit, Bilbo, when presented with the uncertainty of the journey before him said, “I don’t want any adventures, thank you…!” He referred to adventures as, “…disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner!” That is not to say that my mom never leaves home; she has traveled the entire U.S. and been to Europe twice and enjoyed it.

In my opinion, quiet and steady are wonderful components of boldness. My mom is courageous and a risk taker when she believes it to be something God is calling her to and something that is best for her family. Homeschooling is the perfect example! She began homeschooling in 1981, and if that isn’t boldness I’m not sure what is. She believed homeschooling was what God was calling her to do and that it would be good for her family. She took risks walking forward, trusting God to direct and guide her.

In choosing to homeschool in 1981, my mom didn’t have blogs, homeschool conventions to attend, speakers to listen to, or many articles to read. Obviously, there wasn’t social media—so Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook weren’t options either. While this presented her with the challenge of having to forge her own path—perhaps today, we are challenged by the opposite. There are so many options and opinions that make us doubt ourselves. We might even doubt what we’re hearing from God. Choices, options, and expert opinions seem exciting and like a wonderful thing… until you try to sift through them and decide for yourself. Research has shown that the brain has a limit to how much information it can handle when making decisions. At some point, it becomes overloaded and shuts down. I can testify to that feeling of indecision when there are too many options! It’s hard to be bold when we are constantly questioning ourselves or our homeschooling choices.

If you find yourself feeling timid (the opposite of bold—showing a lack of courage or confidence; easily frightened) consider reducing what you’re consuming or taking in. It seems counterintuitive, but having fewer choices and sources of input will calm your brain and allow you to make decisions based on what you’re hearing from God and what’s best for you and your family. Choose sources that are encouraging you to look to God first.

water color of yellow flower with many green leaves

In choosing to homeschool before anyone else was homeschooling, my mom was willing to be the odd one out, the one moving against the flow, regardless of the discomfort or fear she may have felt. Without many choices or options, her confidence wasn’t in a curriculum or method—instead, it was in Him. This is the difference-maker when it comes to walking in boldness. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

“Often, society tells us that loud, outgoing, adventurous people are ‘bold’, while quiet strength is sometimes viewed as meek or weak. However, since I have a similar personality to my mom, I am grateful that she was an example of quiet strength and boldness for me as I grew up.”

Often, society tells us that loud, outgoing, adventurous people are “bold,” while quiet strength is sometimes viewed as meek or weak. However, since I have a similar personality to my mom, I am grateful that she was an example of quiet strength and boldness for me as I grew up. Even with her to learn from, I had to grow and mature as I continued to find more boldness. Like her, much of my ability to move forward boldly in uncertain situations, I believe, comes from a deepening faith and trust in God.

Jane Writes:

As Carrie’s mother, I watched her begin life as an exceedingly shy little girl. This was when I discovered there are different kinds of boldness. In the realm of physical activity, Carrie was actually super bold! She would climb things no one had tried before and swing on anything that moved. We’ll come back to this later.

However, new and different activities were scary to her. She was also more uncomfortable in crowds and meeting new people. Something we did that I think helped her to mature socially was to read books. Dozens, hundreds, maybe thousands of books. The Bible, picture books, fiction stories, missionary biographies—biographies of many kinds. These showcased great and weak characters and revealed people faced with varying circumstances and problems. Through the reading, it became clear that it took courage, confidence, and boldness for the characters to make it through. These books, stories, and read-alouds were a steady diet through our homeschooling years, providing numerous examples of faith, strength, and boldness. They showed how people interacted with each other in good times and in hard times.

Slowly, as we read together, Carrie began to build a foundation for her own actions and she believed that her parents would back her up and help her navigate the more difficult spots. Growing to trust us and learning to trust the Lord more and more led her to greater successes when faced with situations that seemed intimidating.

watercolor of a yellow and pink flower with various green leaves

Remember the super “actively” bold little girl? She discovered volleyball and, as a homeschooler, played for a Christian school team. As she looked forward to daily practices and games and was getting to know a team of players with a common interest, life for her became, as she said, “great!” She loved this sport and grew in its skills and in leadership. Soon she was playing volleyball year-round. For her, it just made everything else—school work, people relationships, etc.—go better.

So, children display boldness in different ways. Some kids are less confident and shy around people or unfamiliar events, while some are less confident in feats of physical activities. Isn’t it good to know that we as moms and dads can gently encourage them to round out boldness in areas where they feel less courage?

We need to remember that children and adults sometimes grow slowly in their boldness—becoming confident and full of faith in time. It isn’t something that can be demanded or forced on them, but rather it is our honor to ever so slowly and constantly encourage them along the way.

And, because we all need help developing boldness, a wonderful area to practice being bold is in prayer! You can grow in boldness in your own prayer life or encourage your children to do so by knowing what you are asking for and believing that the Lord is listening to you. As you feel His presence and see Him moving in your life, you will grow in the knowledge that He is not only listening but has answers. They may not be instant, but He will give you help.

Most of all—be bold to believe, trust, have confidence—knowing that you and your children are dearly loved. As we grow and find out more and more of who we are in Him, we will find ourselves with a holy boldness that brings us joy and blesses others.

arrie Bozeman was homeschooled K-11 before attending college; she began homeschooling her own children in 2012. She is also the author of More Before Five in a Row (ages 3-5) and Five in a Row Mini Units (ages 2-12). Both are children’s literature-based, unit-study curricula. You can find these products at: www.fiveinarow.com

ane Lambert’s grandmother owned a private school and her mother spent thirty-five years in the classroom, so it was only natural for her to become a teacher. But Jane’s teaching gifts found expression in homeschooling beginning in 1981. Today Jane’s children continue the family teaching tradition of homeschooling. Jane is the author of the award-winning curriculum Five in a Row. Jane’s passion is to introduce children to great books, to nurture a love of learning, and to build a firm foundation of faith in Christ.

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