Have you ever heard of the phrase, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”? That resonated with me as we experienced the early months of 2020. Almost all activities came to a grinding halt as we put our world on hold to see what direction a certain virus would take.

I have to be honest; I actually enjoyed the simpler and slower life this allowed.

As an older mom with only two out of our eight kids left at home, it was reminiscent of those years when all the kids were home. Because there were so many of us, we had to keep a certain amount of simplicity to our days. It was the only way I could manage to keep order and peace in our home and family life.

There were times when I doubted myself. I wondered how in the world our simple life could be enough to prepare our kids for their future. I would whisper a prayer, and God would remind me, “Keep your hand to the plow.”

If you are not familiar with that term, it’s from a verse in the Bible where Jesus was talking to those who told him that they wanted to follow him, but then proceeded to tell Jesus what they needed to go and do first.

A farmer in this biblical culture guided a light plow with his left hand and his oxen with his right hand. If he looked away, the plow would turn from its path. For believers, looking back is the same as putting earthly concerns before God. As a mom, it was becoming distracted from the priorities that He had clearly placed in front of me.

Every time God gave me this picture, it helped me refocus. These children were a blessing. They were valuable. They were a worthwhile and long-term investment. They were a mission field. In the meantime, I could trust God to lovingly care for me, shepherd me, and order the bigger world around me without me having to bear burdens that were not mine to bear.

So I would return to directing my whole heart to the task at hand, tightening my grip on the plow in my hand, eyes fixed on what was before me.

This is the same feeling I had during the quarantine. You see for me, in this season of life, the demands of parenting have been severely reduced. Consequently, I have so many more options as to how I spend my time. It’s a blessing, but also far more challenging than I would have ever imagined. As life slowed down and there were fewer options, I found myself far less anxious about a lot of things.

As those days turned into weeks, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” kept running through my mind. I thought about how many parents, including myself, often have a hard time saying no to things that seem good. We really can save ourselves a whole lot of grief by simply hitting the pause button and taking the time to further examine and prayerfully consider whether or not the good things are the best choices for our family.

It’s essential that we filter these options through what we believe God has called us to as a family.

What has God called us to?

• He has called us to teach our kids to love and serve Him. (Deut. 11:18,19)
• He has called us to raise our kids up in the nurture and admonition of Him. (Ephesians 6:4)
• He has called us to train our kids to be disciples of Christ.

 

If any activity takes away from our ability to disciple our children, then we can be assured that it really isn’t the best for our family, no matter what everyone else is doing.

Discipling our children is our first calling, and I am convinced that in order to do this well, we have to have time. We cannot be hurried or overscheduled, and that is something that is a constant battle for most parents.

God in His great mercy, through a quarantine, gave us an opportunity to change that.

It can be challenging to create new habits, but I firmly believe that because our role as parents is SO important, He graciously took away many distractions that would keep us from truly discipling our children. I am not saying these activities are wrong, but I believe God had a higher purpose in removing them.

You see, as parents we are guardians of our children—and I’m not just talking about their physical bodies. We are raising people, not robots, and that requires that we tend to their whole being; body, soul, and spirit.

My favorite visual for this is that of a shepherd.

Have you ever been around sheep? There are a few things you should know: they cannot be driven, they have to be led. If you try to drive them (come up behind them and force them a certain direction), they lose their minds and scatter. They will also lose trust in the shepherd.

God does not drive us. Ever. He is a gentle shepherd that leads. He will lead us as we lead our children.

Sheep will not drink from water that is moving, so they will stop at mud puddles and drink dirty water if left to themselves. Psalm 23 tells of the Shepherd who leads His sheep to “quiet waters” because He knows the nature of the sheep and wants them to have much better, cleaner water. God will lead us to what is best, and as He does we also show our children what it looks like to choose what is best over what is only good.

How many times do we settle for muddy waters? Those waters (distractions) that we happen to come across are convenient or seem good, but quite often they are not God’s best for us or our children?

A good shepherd cares for his sheep day and night, always watching over them. He is always aware of their condition, always caring, always gentle, even when he is being firm. He stays alert for predators: anything or anyone that might harm his little flock, be it wolves, pests, or parasites.

What breathes life into your family? What helps you better follow God’s direction in discipling your children?

Dads and moms, it’s our privilege and responsibility to watch over our little flock. We have a Great Shepherd who loves our children even more than we do. He knows their hearts, their future, and the purposes for which He has created them.