to have goals and to see results. It is also important to embrace where you are. We can do both. We can look ahead and aim for things while also seeing our present circumstances and counting the blessings that exist in the here and now.

My math journey was a winding road, often filled with tears. The tears came because it was frustrating for a little girl to try so hard to understand something and struggle through each lesson. My mom was a huge help to this struggling learner. She always made sure I knew it wasn’t my fault if I didn’t “get it”—she was just going to find another way to explain the concept. We used manipulatives, apples, various curricula, etc., and there are so many more options available now. Being a word person, I think that if Life of Fred had been around back then, it would have helped me a great deal. Mom even brought me hot chocolate during math from time to time since she knew it was a difficult subject for me.

I was three grade levels behind in math for many of my younger years. I never knew that, though. Mom had this determination about my schooling. Since I have a learning disability, it would be what I needed, nothing more, nothing less. And whatever that looked like was okay with her. I’m sure there were times when she worried and fretted over things, but she never let those times of worry dictate her decisions.

Fast forward to high school. I had made it through fractions alive! And while long division wasn’t my strong suit, it too was under my educational belt. I actually even liked algebra and geometry at times. This is not to say it came easily for me, but I was no longer “behind” in terms of what my peers were learning about. My small steps forward in understanding within the broad range of the subject were still lacking, but not to the degree they had been. Sometimes our development makes a leap or two forward when we least expect it. For me, I think it was in large part due to the nurturing I had received all along the way. School was something we did as a family, more often than not, so it just felt like another aspect of life at home. That included both the ups and the downs. I was never made to feel that my struggle with math was a burden to my mom. We were in it together. This was a very powerful message for this timid girl.

When it came to tests, the stress of being timed with unfamiliar surroundings was always hard. I did not take the SAT during my junior year. We felt it was an unnecessary pressure at the time. In my senior year, we knew we needed to take steps in order to face the challenge. That entire year in math, we focused on what was going to be covered during the SAT. I had a goal in mind. With my love of language, the verbal half of the test was not an issue. The goal I had set for math, though, would be an uphill battle. While not a particularly great number in the world’s estimation, my goal to get 500 in math was great to me. Most would call that average. For a learning-disabled young lady who had fought through many trials with the subject, average was a triumph. My mom didn’t tell me this at the time, but later, she recalled holding back her reservations when I told her of my goal. She said she feared I wouldn’t be able to meet the challenge and would ultimately feel like a failure. But she knew enough to keep these concerns to herself and pray instead.

God used this “disability” to teach me so much in my life. You understand a lot about determination when to reach the same goal as someone else, you have to put in a lot more time and effort. Like when I received time and a half for the SAT and made sure to use every last minute of it. Though everyone else had left, even other kids with a disability diagnosis who had received extra time as well, I remained to the end. I had a goal. I had to give it my all.

The first time I took the test, I got a 330 in math. Ouch. Back to the books. The second time I took it, 430. Wow! That 100-point gain was pretty exciting. But it wasn’t my goal. More studying. Then came the final time I could take the SAT before graduation. I remember when my mom picked me after the test was over and asked, “How did it go?” I said, “I did my best.” My mom looked at me, eyes filled with pride, and said, “Then be at peace. Your best is all you can do!”

This was a lesson she had taught me over the years. The question wasn’t, did you do it all correctly? Did you achieve great success? Did you impress? No. The question was always the same, whether in sports, academics, or anything else, did you do your best? If the answer was yes, then celebration ensued because we learned that our best was always what my parents were after. Not a predetermined outcome, just the best we could do. When the results came in from that final test, my mom woke me up at midnight and held the scores over my head with an enthusiastic exclamation that I had not only reached, but exceeded, my goal.

To us it was more than just a number. It was a conquering of sorts. A celebration of God’s faithfulness over the years leading my mom and I through this math journey together. It was a victory for both of us, and we knew He deserved the Glory for all the times He had guided us to a curriculum that helped, or had given her a creative idea to help me understand difficult concepts.

You see, our Father wants to be in every aspect of this life with us. Homeschooling is no exception. In fact, He knows how much you’ll need Him because the world will put pressure on us and our fears will rise up to accuse us if we let them. I love this scripture from 1 John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment.” As the good Father He is, He will joyfully come alongside you in this homeschooling journey and relieve you of any fears and anxieties you have so that they don’t torment you. How does He do it? With His love. But you have a part to play too. Let Him love you through every bump, every fear, every challenge. Bring it to Him and He will show you what to do. Just as He did for me and my mom.

One of my mom’s all-time favorite phrases was, “God doesn’t call the equipped; He equips the called.” The Lord loves to show His power through our areas of weakness. As we read in Joel 3:10 “Let the weak say I am strong.”

Or the famous words from 2 Corinthians 12:9: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” It’s almost like a signpost—when an area of weakness exists, you know you can expect His power to come to you in that place. Timing really is everything concerning our development. Some are ready for certain milestones, while others might not be, and we as the parents have to discern which is which for our children and have the courage to take action in accordance to our findings.

Do you feel weak? Unsure of yourself? Frightened about the future? We all do to some degree, because we’re all constantly moving into unknown territory as our children get older or changes occur. Let us join our hearts together with His and remember when we are weak, it’s just a magnet for His strength. Courage will rise out of your surrender…