don’t like change. I like to find a sweet spot and stick with it until I die! But that’s the thing with sweet spots… They’re just spots along the journey of homeschooling, parenting, and life.

The early years with my family and homeschooling was one of those sweet spots. Oh, to be sure, it was hard. My wife and I were pretty much exhausted all the time. I know I started counting down the days until my Sunday afternoon nap on Monday!

But life was simpler. We could control things. The kids got up when we said, did school when we asked, took naps and went to bed when we told them to.

They complained sometimes, but we were bigger, so we won. All the issues were smaller, too. Would they play T-ball, eat in the living room, watch a certain movie, or go to a friend’s house?

Even their sins were smaller. “Dad, Sam said the ‘s’ word,” an eight-year-old Ben told me. My life flashed before me as I asked, “WHAT “S” WORD?”

“Stupid,” Ben whispered in shame. Relief washed over me, and I forced back a smile. “Well, I’ll have to talk to him about that.”

In those sweet spot days, we did everything together. We woke up together, did school together, traveled the country in our big RV together, vacationed together, got Noble Roman’s breadsticks together… Everything.

Debbie and I had lots of energy then. Babies were born left and right, but we still managed to have pillow fights, campouts, and special birthday events.

But then something happened… Time marched on and everything changed. Now we can’t control things like we used to. The kids got bigger and had convincing arguments. They made choices and started living lives of their own. They met people, finished school, got married, and started families.

While they were doing that, Debbie and I got older and all the energy we used to have in abundance flew south like a flock of geese in the fall. We still feel abundantly blessed, but we feel even MORE exhausted than during those early years.

What’s more is that we know it’s going to get harder. We’ll have less energy and our bodies are going to give up on us way faster than we gave up on Singapore Math.

This brings me back to the truth: I DON’T LIKE TRANSITIONS. I don’t do well with them. I want to pretend that everything is like it used to be, but that verges on insanity. I have to remember: they’re counting on me… The dad to lead the charge. I think that’s why Paul wrote to Titus to remind the older men to be solid in faith, love, and perseverance.

That’s my dad right now. A few weeks ago we had to tell my parents it’s time to move from their house of forty-five years into a new-fangled assisted living “hotel”—until they die.

I felt overwhelmed for them as we toured the place. It was nice and they would be safe, but it wasn’t their home filled with memories of little children, teens, and adult kids with their families. They wouldn’t sleep in their bed anymore or sit at the dining room table and look out the big window my dad installed when we first moved there. There would be no more summer nights out on the back porch swing, no more watching sleds zoom down the hill in winter, or the sound of traffic on the wet street beside their house.

We decided last week that it was time to move. We didn’t pretend that it would be easy, but we let them decide. My dad called me a few days later to tell me that they had UNDECIDED and weren’t moving. And then a day or two later, he called back and said, “We’ll move.”

I knew it was not easy for them and they dreaded the thought, but they also knew it was best.

Because that’s the thing, Dad, we need to lead in the transitions. Our wives and children may not like the transition we head into, but we need to remind them that God has a great plan, that we can do it as a family, and that home is not a house but a place where we do family together.

Home, family, and homeschooling may not look like it did last week or last year, but it’s still the best and we don’t want to miss any of it because we were too busy complaining about it not being like it used to be.

1. Be honest and acknowledge the truth of the transition. It’s hard and not like it used to be.
2. Embrace it. “We’re not going back, but we’re moving forward.”
3. Remind your wife and the others that God has a plan… and that it’s a great plan.
4. Smile

odd Wilson, author of Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe and Help! I’m Married to a Homeschooling Mom, is a dad, writer, conference speaker, and former pastor. Todd’s humor and gut-honest realness have made him a favorite speaker at homeschool conventions across the country and a guest on Focus on the Family. Todd and his wife Debbie homeschool their eight children in northern Indiana and travel around America in the Familyman Mobile. You can visit Familyman Ministries at: www.familymanweb.com.