here I was, anxiously gawking at a book entitled What Your 3rd Grader Needs to Know. I wasn’t sure if I had found the checklist of absolution I was looking for, or proof I had bitten off more than I could chew with my hasty, spite-fueled, and hifalutin decision to homeschool. Drifting naively, I combed the learning materials (at a bookstore that shall-not-be-named but rhymes with yarns and global). New homeschool mom fantasies and foolery coursed through my caffeine spiked mind, flailing for freedom but grasping for guidance.

Of course, new homeschool parents must start somewhere. And often they search out the security of a helpful, guiding, directional, but possibly harmful, handicapping, misleading, and addictive …checklist.

Checklists… checklists… checklists… Collect enough and you can stitch them into a quilt of contrived comfort and aimless assurance. But…How do I know what to teach them? reverberated in my head. Did I hold the answers here in this book? Had the good Lord led me to this series of self-asserted authority, just as He led me to the exit of our elementary school?

Flipping the pages and scanning the headings, bullet points, and subject checklists gave me a strange cagey feeling. A hifalutin spark and a smoke curl of doubt awakened my suspicions of nonsense.

Who was this author to set the standard anyway? I knew degreed, professional adults (okay, me) who didn’t know all the facts, figures, formulas, and inferences rigidly fixed in those checklists of grade-level mastery. Also, judging by the poetry unit expectations, my four-year-old was a prodigy, having already memorized and recited Shel Silverstein’s “Thumbs” with cheeky delight.

And what if they didn’t know all this random knowledge at the start of the fourth grade? What even is the fourth grade!? And just like that, the realization we hope all homeschool parents eventually come to, hit me square in the face.

Feeling rebelliously annoyed, I tore the book in half…okay, okay… I gently placed the book back on the shelf. But I scoffed loudly at its haughty know-it-all-or-doom premise.

I decided I would go home and make my own checklist. A list of the basic subjects we would cover that first year. To simply include math, writing, grammar, spelling? Reading? Science? History? Oh, and physical education? Art? What about socialization? Tech? And we can’t neglect life skills? Should we begin Latin for foreign language… AHHH! I prayed, help me God! We can’t possibly do this every day or in one school year. Where do we fit in all the fun family natural learning homeschooling promises if we have to keep up with all the checklists written in our curriculum, foretold in homeschool circles, expected for college admissions, and implied by society?

Ever since that first overachieving, underwhelming year of homeschooling, we’ve dared to loosen our grip on checklists as a security blanket of arbitrary achievement and seek personally purposeful learning.

The bullet point battle will resurface when you reach new stages. When my guys reached high school, a whole new set of checklists emerged to weigh on my mind. I even wondered if I needed to teach them to open a combination lock in under thirty seconds or have them lovingly name a sack of flour dressed in a onesie and carry it around with them everywhere for a week.

Grade levels and curriculum outlines can make our homeschool days scripted, generic, and boring. Use these general standards and ideals as a loose guide when in need of inspiration or direction. Remember, homeschooling is so much more than academic achievement and getting ahead on paper.

Any education, even a homeschool education, is a slice of Swiss cheese, still full of holes at the finish line. God will continue providing a lifetime of learning beyond and more fulfilling than any checklist we gather or construct if we teach them to seek and do His will in their lives.

We mustn’t neglect to add the warm gooey key ingredients of integrity, heart, and soul. Values that can’t be bullet-pointed in a course syllabus. Over the years, we prioritized what mattered for our boys’ future. Unnecessary checklists often ended up repurposed for a fun family organically reached activity… S’MORES!

ennifer Cabrera is a physician assistant/MPH who left medicine to homeschool her three sons, two of which are graduated and studying electrical engineering and professional aviation at university. Jennifer is the writer, speaker, author and homeschool advocate behind HifalutinHomeschooler.com and strives to offer truth, encouragement, and humor to new and seasoned homeschool parents. Jennifer co-hosts The Homeschool Solutions Show podcast, is a speaker with Great Homeschool Conventions, and has written for the Epoch Times. Her publications include the humorous language arts series: Gross-Out Grammar & Revolting Writing and Socialize Like a Homeschooler; A Humorous Homeschool Handbook.