remember it like it was yesterday. Our eight kids and I were humming along nicely in our homeschooling rhythm, feeling peaceful and content when a thought occurred to me: “If there were cameras in my house and the rest of the world could see exactly how we are homeschooling and what I am doing with my kids, they would say I am not doing enough. They would think my kids are headed for failure because their education certainly doesn’t look like the traditional school system.”

At the same time, I couldn’t deny the peace I had about how we were approaching things. The kids seemed to be thriving. It felt like life was being breathed into our family. So how could I reconcile the thoughts of not doing enough with the reality of our days?

At the same time, I also wondered how in the world I could prepare my kids for their future when I had no idea what they were going to do. How could I know what kind of jobs would be available or what my kids would actually want to do?

Our oldest son, Jake, was about ten years old at the time. I could have never imagined that he would eventually want to start college at sixteen to get a computer science degree and eventually become a software engineer. At the time I didn’t even know that was a thing. My husband and I had no exposure to the IT industry and certainly no experience or guidance to offer him.

As I pondered this reality, I thought about whether or not having my kids in the traditional classroom setting could give me any more assurance, but I realized that no teacher can know what the future holds for each of our children any more than we can. The idea that there is some sort of magical formula that guarantees a gap-free education where children know all that they need for the future is a myth.

Unfortunately, it is one that seems to haunt many homeschooling parents.

The best way to fight a myth though is through the truth. We love our kids more than any teacher could and are more concerned about, and invested in, our kids’ future than any teacher could be. That alone makes a huge difference, but is it enough?

Like you, I wanted to do right by my kids, so I had to ask myself: What were the most important skills I could give them that would equip them to be able to learn whatever they needed… to do whatever they decided to do?

1. Encourage them to be lifelong learners. Kids are natural learners and curious by their very nature. They come to us wanting to learn. Our job is to gently encourage them and not burn them out by always insisting on a results-driven outcome. If our kids know how to learn and specifically how they learn, they can tackle just about any challenge.
2. Encourage them to be resourceful. We want our kids to know how and where to find what they need to know. The key to this is not over-resourcing our kids. Too much information can overwhelm them and shut down their learning processes. Keep things as simple as possible as much as possible.
3. Instill a strong work ethic in them. Our kids can have all the love for learning and resourcefulness necessary, but if they aren’t willing to work hard, they will not be nearly as successful.

When our son Jake decided to start college when he was sixteen, I knew there were things we had not covered and there would be gaps. But, he was determined to move forward and I needed to stand back and let him do it. I quickly learned that because he had a love for learning, he was resourceful, he had a strong work ethic, and now he had a passionate goal to work toward—he was fully capable of navigating this journey and filling whatever gaps were there on his own.

One of our grown sons recently reminded me that when it comes to education, our job as homeschooling parents is to give our kids a solid foundation in the basics. It is up to them to turn those into hard skills. There is a place where our job ends and theirs begins. This can be hard to imagine when our kids are still young, but as they grow and develop and become more and more competent, we begin to see how much they are capable of, especially when they have had the time and space to grow and learn at their own pace.

As I stood in my kitchen that day all those years ago wondering how to reconcile the conflicting thoughts that were going through my mind, I stopped and prayed, “Lord, what do I do with all of this? I need your wisdom.”

I was reminded of the story of the loaves and fishes in the Bible. Jesus and his disciples were in a remote place with a crowd of thousands of people that Jesus had been ministering to. The people were getting hungry. Jesus turned and looked at his disciples and said, “Feed them.” Why? Why would Jesus ask them to do what was seemingly impossible? The disciples responded that they only had five loaves and two fish. Jesus told them to bring to him what they had. Then he prayed over it, multiplied it, and made it more than enough.

This story remains a tangible reminder that things that are impossible with man are possible with God!

God cares about our homeschooling and He cares more about our children than we do. He is more invested in their future than we are. He is also the only one who actually knows their future.