Sandi and I sought to make our home the fun place where other children would want to come and hang out. The pool was a significant investment, but it was a wonderful addition to our home and also served the dual purpose of being the baptistry for our local church. We lived several hours from a beach or even a freshwater lake, so we “brought the mountain to Mohammad.”

Learn Together

He tells the story of me driving our van and pulling onto the shoulder of the road to read an historical marker… which I still do. While I was reading, I heard a quiet voice from the back seat reminding me that they had already studied history that day.

On another occasion, I called our four boys outside at night. They ran out in hopes of playing monster or some other game in the dark. Instead, I whipped out a flashlight and taught them how to find the North Star by using the two pointer stars at the end of the Big Dipper. Learning in our home was a lifestyle, not a set period of time relegated to the morning hours each day.

One unexpected fruit of reading the same books and later, watching the same videos together, was that we found we understood each other’s illustrations and comments in our conversations. We had been developing our family chemistry and didn’t even know it. On one occasion, a friend was going on a trip with us. While we were sitting together, he leaned over and began rubbing his ear. He then said, “I can’t hear out of my right ear!” Joseph leaned over and said, “I’ll love you George Bailey until the day I die!” The timing was perfect. I understood the connection and laughed for several minutes. If you have watched “It’s a Wonderful Life,” you understand.

When the boys were young, I would get up early, make them breakfast, and then take them to the local library. We enjoyed reading books there, checking out new ones, and on the way home would stop at a playground or visit friends. This afforded Sandi quality time to sleep in, read her Bible, and journal to recharge her batteries in a quiet home. After lunch she would entertain the boys while I had a much needed nap and did some reading. Of course, these rhythms changed during the different seasons of life, but as in almost everything I have mentioned, we are grateful that God helped us to intentionally build our family chemistry by investing in these times and activities.

As the years rolled on, it was clear who the extroverts and introverts were in the home. The extroverts were comfortable winging life and not making plans. They enjoyed going on open-ended Saturday excursions. The introverts liked to make a plan and stick to it. We each had lots of opportunities to be considerate and adapt!

When our children were younger, we read to them. When they were older, we acquired Bibles in large print and read with them. If we had time, we would go around the circle and share one insight we had received that morning. If we had a few more minutes, we sang a hymn. Then I would close in prayer and we would begin our day.

We were faithful attendees at our local church and the whole family sat together at the Sunday morning service. The boys learned to sit quietly and listen at home, and this practice translated to them benefiting from and participating in the main worship time.

As we do, we are giving our children a stable, constant, loving home where they can develop deep roots. Sandi was the primary architect of developing and following through on many traditions which we still are doing several decades later. I honor her wisdom and dedication in setting this course for our family. On more than one occasion we remarked that we saw our role as parents to give them roots and encourage their wings.

I have prayed many many times for God to turn my heart to Him, and then to my family. When our hearts have been turned toward those nearest and dearest to us, we will find lots of ways to express that love in our daily life. “He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers.” (Malachi 4:6)