he average adult makes approximately 35,000 decisions each day. Some decisions are made without consciously thinking about them while we agonize over others. Despite the fact that decision-making is such a huge part of our lives, most of us grew up with little to no guidance on how to do it.

As Christians, deep down most of us want to do the will of God. But do you struggle with determining what that is? The best place to start is His revealed will. Throughout the scriptures, we discover what God’s desire for us is in how we love, act, and serve.

One thing my pastor taught me was that not everything is “black and white.” He shared that he used to think in a rigid, right-versus-wrong kind of way, but he realized it’s more like a football field. The end zones are “right” and “wrong,” but the field has a lot of gray area. What we need to determine is whether a choice falls on the side of wisdom or foolishness. He shared this example: The Bible doesn’t say drinking alcohol is a sin, but for him it fell on the side of foolishness because alcoholism was a problem in his family history. And, he didn’t want it to be a stumbling block for those struggling, either, considering he was our lead pastor. He chose to not drink at all.

So try to identify where this decision lands on the “football field” for you and enjoy the immense freedom God has given us!

Begin with prayer. Invite the Holy Spirit to lead you. And throughout the process, continue to ask and seek His guidance.

Identify emotions and appetites. In this issue, we’re talking about the soul in terms of being the center of emotions and appetites. Sometimes we rely on our emotions when faced with a decision: Does this feel like a good (or bad) choice? At other times, unhealthy appetites we’ve fed play a bigger role than we want to admit. “I need (insert want) __________.” And although our emotions, and even our wants, should be considered, we instinctively know that these cannot drive our decisions. At least not if we want to be wise.

Differentiate between needs and wants. This isn’t as easy as it sounds! Sometimes our wants get mixed in with our needs. If you have ever bought a car, you understand. Think about the football field analogy—it isn’t morally wrong to get a new car—but you have to consider how much you can actually afford. It’s perfectly fine to enjoy life and get what you want at times, but in that, we still need to be mindful of whether we are making a decision on the foolish or wise side of the field.

Make life-giving and life-draining lists. Pros and cons lists can be helpful, but they are a bit flawed. Why? You may have only one pro and ten cons, but if that one pro is important (like a core value), it can cancel out all the cons. In her book, The Next Right Thing, Emily Freeman suggests that because of this, a list of what is life-giving and life-draining offers a better alternative. Life-giving things give us energy, peace, and joy, while life-draining things zap our energy and leave us deflated.

Trust that the Holy Spirit within will guide you. You’ve prayed, you’ve discerned, you’ve considered—so now you can decide with confidence.

“But what if I’m not hearing the Holy Spirit, but just my desires?” It is possible. Yet, it will still be okay because we can…

Know that even mistakes will be used by God. Remember Romans 8:28 (NIV), “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” It doesn’t say all things are good, but that He works them for the good. Many times we stop there, but verse 29 continues, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” Even through our mistakes, He can make us more Christ-like.

If you love the Lord and are seeking His guidance, decisions become a simple act of faith. We don’t have to trust our wisdom!

When it comes to cultivating a natural learning home, academic and life skills aren’t separate from one another. You are teaching all the time whether you realize it or not. So, teach them about how to make decisions so they can be confident in their abilities to make good ones!

• Invite them “behind the scenes” of family decisions. Talk to your kids about how you came to a decision and be honest about your own struggles and doubts in the process. Share why you believe the decision is a wise one for your family. And include them when it is appropriate. Which brings us to the next point.
• Let them make their own age-appropriate decisions. Little ones can start choosing things like what they will wear (even if it’s a pretty crazy outfit 🙂). Older children and teens can make bigger decisions. Sometimes they won’t make one you would want them to make, but natural consequences are a powerful learning tool! At other times, they will make a wise decision, and you can praise them not just for the result but for the process they went through to make it.
• Share your personal experiences with decision-making—what you consider to be successful ones and failures. Evaluate those decisions with your kids. Ask for their observations, ideas, and suggestions.
• Discuss the steps listed above. You could talk about them during supper over a week or two. Then, present a decision you all want to make as a family and help them walk through the steps.

Recently, I faced my own big decision: whether to quit a part-time job I’ve been doing. I’m dealing with a chronic illness and find that several symptoms worsen on work days, making it hard to cook and take care of our home. And I don’t have as much time for this magazine that I love! My husband was completely supportive of whatever choice I made (he’s been an incredible teammate through this), but the truth is many decisions don’t just affect the individual deciding.

So when I considered what was life-giving versus life-draining, I asked my husband whether my contribution financially to our family gave him more peace of mind, or if coming home to homemade meals and less mess refreshed him more. He thought and prayed about it, and his answer made the decision easy for me. For us, what is life-giving is home. We trust that even though it may not be easy, it’s the best decision for our family.

ay Chance homeschooled her children for fifteen years. While teaching them, she discovered a passion for writing and developing curriculum resources. She loves sharing natural learning methods and creative lesson ideas with other homeschooling parents. Kay is the co-executive editor of Homeschooling Today magazine and the author of the older extensions for the Trail Guide to Learning series. She makes her home in Texas with her husband Brian.